Still Clickin

An obituary for Mr. Common Sense -

This obit appeared in my email today. It was originally published in the London Times during 2007. As my correspondent suggested, it was probably written by an English Headmaster/Headmistress. Maybe we should have a “Wry Humor” category.

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

• knowing when to come in out of the rain;
• why the early bird gets the worm;
• life isn’t always fair; and
• maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of

• a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
• teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and
• a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,

only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

• I Know My Rights
• I Want It Now
• Someone Else Is To Blame
• I’m A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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We have all lived long enough to remember many historic events. My first was the bombing of Pearl Harbor. I remember standing by a shrub at the side of our house when I heard my Mother shout, “Oh no!” There have been many events since, VE-Day, VJ-Day, etc., when you remember what happened and exactly where you were and what you were doing at the time you heard.

This morning, I was sitting at the counter sipping coffee when for the first time in the history of our nation a black man was sworn in as our nation’s president. Looking at the throngs assembled and listening to the interviews on the Mall, the one common trait you detected was an immense sense of pride. America was standing tall. It was once again demonstrating that freedom was possible.

Traveling overseas, you repeatedly encounter very different cultures. . .The manager of our London Office believed his six year-old daughter’s life was over because she wasn’t admitted to a certain school. The Chinese people in Kuala Lumpur recognize that they must limit their access and aspirations. The Shiites in Bahrain realize that only the lower paying jobs are available to them.

Once, I was verbally assaulted by a potential client who observed that the stark repression in their country was no different than America’s was to its black people. They were just more forthright about it. I was stung by the truth in his statement, and I knew that my counter arguments lacked conviction.

Today, that changed. Today is a very historic day. Today, two hundred and thirty-three years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, America has proved once again that freedom can ring out. This time for a black man.

Racial prejudice still does exist. As a nation, we still have a lot more work to do. But for race relations in this country, this is HUGE! I truly believe that people now will consciously shift their vision from the color of a person’s skin to the look in a person’s eye. Once we get that shift firmly in place, we can relegate racial issues to a footnote.

There is an excitement in this land today, because Americans realize they effected this change themselves. They are standing proudly together and enjoying this moment of history. Personally, I feel quite proud that, during the past seven decades of my life - especially during the past three - my country has managed to achieve this amazing progress. I feel privileged that I have lived to witness it.

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Is social security really guilt money? Although we seniors will receive a 5.8% cola increase in 2009 (which will partially compensate for the shortfall this year.), are these funds intended to be a retirement benefit or to compensate for the age discrimination that we face everyday?

During this holiday season, it is nice to notice the many senior citizens working at the various stores. They are invariably courteous, friendly, and helpful. They act as if they actually care. Take a good look at them. They will be gone in January.

Any employee in the US knows that finding a job becomes more difficult as you get older. Once you reach out beyond your personal network, and become just another resume in the Inbox, your odds of succeeding become considerably more difficult. There are some organizations that recognize the problem and offer help. 40Plus has been around for years, and its local chapters are dedicated to helping workers over age forty find employment.

Imagine what it is like after age sixty-five!

A personal friend of mine is an employment specialist who works specifically in the sector of senior citizens. As he reports, he can find jobs for people, but the pay scale is typically limited to $10 or $12/hour. Although some of his clients may have operated as top executives or academics and have advanced degrees and credentials, the best he can find for them is $10 to $12/hour.

Senior citizens don’t want a handout. Like any person, they simply want an opportunity and a chance to demonstrate their value. In the current economic climate, where portfolios have been reduced by forty percent or more, they also want to survive. It is a tragedy that age prejudice in our current society severely limits their ability to do that.

So it would appear we are back to our original question.

Is social security really guilt money?

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Having spent most of my working life in New York City, that melting pot of humanity, I was always used to recognizing other people’s celebrations. As the days became shorter and darker, it was delightful to encounter celebratory lights and smiles. The context that framed those smiles varied with their cultural backgrounds. For some it was Christmas, for others Hanukkah, for some Kwanzaa, for still others Hari Raya. (I’m sure there are other holidays, but these were celebrated by the people with whom I worked.) As a true New Yorker, however, you realized that it was your responsibility to get the date right and share greetings and best wishes for all the various holidays, by name.

Where did all that respect for diversity go? “Happy Holidays” just doesn’t cut it for me. It ignores diversity rather than celebrates it. It lacks style. Frankly, I find it just plain lazy!

Over the years, I certainly have made mistakes, wishing people best wishes for the wrong holiday. I’ve also been on the receiving end of such “mistakes”, but I’ve never taken offense. I don’t understand how you can be offended by someone wishing you well. They are trying to share their humanity and joy of celebration. How can anyone in their right mind be offended?

Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day lack this diversity. Because they are common celebrations, they pass more easily through the social consciousness. They are celebrations of common survival, that we still have both food and time. As a consequence, they are socially safer celebrations. The diversity of cultures and beliefs are not involved. You don’t have to be so socially sensitive. They take less “work”.

Trying to force the celebrations of diverse cultures and religions into the same “safe” mold, however, ignores their realities. To me, “Happy Holidays” doesn’t say that I’m trying to be sensitive. Instead, it says that I’m either too casual or too lazy to care.

So let us rejoice in the richness of our diversity. I send you best wishes. Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Joyous Kwanzaa! Selamat Hari Raya!

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Well, the votes are in and the campaigns are over.  What happens next?

I remember standing down on Broad Street on V-J Day, fiercely waving my little flag with 48 stars on the field of blue.  Everyone in the town was so excited.  We were so proud of our country that we got hoarse from shouting.  Patriotism bubbled through our blood.

Today, those days are a distant memory.  I suspect that the abysmal ratings experienced by our current President are in large part due to the fact that he abused the good will of the country and defined patriotism as loyalty to his particular agenda.  That agenda was never developed with a broad consensus.  Any questioning was characterized as unpatriotic.  Instead, a closed-door, siege mentality seemed to reign.  His definition of patriotism, i.e. support anything I ask for, is an unfortunate reminder that “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Hopefully, this new President will demand patriotism of us all.  How he defines it, however, will be critical.  So far, his words seem to strike the right cord for many people.  But his most serious initial challenge will be to defeat the spirit of partisanship that has infected our land.  In my own judgment, partisanship has become the greatest threat to patriotism today.

Partisanship is arrogant, deaf, and divisive.  It strikes at the heart of the Union.  It breeds vindictiveness and contempt.  It doesn’t show respect.  Worse, it doesn’t even listen.  It concentrates on keeping score and getting even.  It has infected Washington to the point where the People it supposedly represents have developed a fundamental lack of trust in its institutions and its members.

We, the People, are hungry for fairness, decency, thoughtfulness, and cooperation.  We want to believe again and feel proud.  We want to feel that our country, and our individual districts and states, are being fairly represented.  The particular party involved has to take a back seat.  There is too much serious work to be done to allow time for “party games.”

This new President-elect is saying all the right words about partisanship.  But politics, as we all know, can be a dirty business.  Hopefully, he will be able to lead us back from party-first to country-first.  He deserves our support to achieve that.  If he strays from that, he deserves our honest questions.

Once we became eligible, my wife used to laugh whenever we went out to the movies. I would very firmly declare “two seniors” at the ticket window to secure the discount, while she would observe that we were grouped together with the children on the discount scale.

In many ways, we seniors are coupled with children. Both are subjected to age prejudice for the same reason, i.e. we are not viewed as major players in contemporary society. Our experience can be seen as passé, and our contacts have diminished through sickness, retirement, and death.

We also receive the same brand of prejudice, i.e. the “look through” brand of prejudice rather than the more hurtful “look away” variety. Because we are not viewed as players, we are ignored rather than avoided. It is a kinder form of prejudice, but it is still very frustrating.

How do you deal with this mindset during a job search?

1. To combat age prejudice, the first person you have to convince of its inaccuracy is yourself. If you allow yourself to focus upon, or be intimidated by, this barrier, it has achieved its exclusionary objective. Do not let it compromise your action plan.
2. Humor is the most effective weapon against prejudice of any kind. In a few quick words, it both recognizes the reality of that prejudice while at the same time removing the venom from its stinger. Remember how, in a presidential debate, Regan deftly responded that he would not use his opponent’s youth and inexperience against him. That classic zinger defused the entire age issue in that race.
3. In a job search, revise your resume to downplay the dates and stress the experience. You also may want to omit some early work and focus upon more recent activities.
4. Don’t be afraid to spend some time in volunteer efforts. These situations can present you with an opportunity to demonstrate your skills, make new contacts, and heighten your sense of self worth while producing a benefit for others.
5. As has always been the case in a job search at any age, contacts are your most important resource. Leverage your own as well as your children’s.

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