Still Clickin

We have all lived long enough to remember many historic events. My first was the bombing of Pearl Harbor. I remember standing by a shrub at the side of our house when I heard my Mother shout, “Oh no!” There have been many events since, VE-Day, VJ-Day, etc., when you remember what happened and exactly where you were and what you were doing at the time you heard.

This morning, I was sitting at the counter sipping coffee when for the first time in the history of our nation a black man was sworn in as our nation’s president. Looking at the throngs assembled and listening to the interviews on the Mall, the one common trait you detected was an immense sense of pride. America was standing tall. It was once again demonstrating that freedom was possible.

Traveling overseas, you repeatedly encounter very different cultures. . .The manager of our London Office believed his six year-old daughter’s life was over because she wasn’t admitted to a certain school. The Chinese people in Kuala Lumpur recognize that they must limit their access and aspirations. The Shiites in Bahrain realize that only the lower paying jobs are available to them.

Once, I was verbally assaulted by a potential client who observed that the stark repression in their country was no different than America’s was to its black people. They were just more forthright about it. I was stung by the truth in his statement, and I knew that my counter arguments lacked conviction.

Today, that changed. Today is a very historic day. Today, two hundred and thirty-three years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, America has proved once again that freedom can ring out. This time for a black man.

Racial prejudice still does exist. As a nation, we still have a lot more work to do. But for race relations in this country, this is HUGE! I truly believe that people now will consciously shift their vision from the color of a person’s skin to the look in a person’s eye. Once we get that shift firmly in place, we can relegate racial issues to a footnote.

There is an excitement in this land today, because Americans realize they effected this change themselves. They are standing proudly together and enjoying this moment of history. Personally, I feel quite proud that, during the past seven decades of my life - especially during the past three - my country has managed to achieve this amazing progress. I feel privileged that I have lived to witness it.

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Looking to meet some fellow seniors? I’ve found out where they are. Doctors’ offices! For someone who has been generally blessed with good health, I have never spent much time reading magazines in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. However, three out of the five days of this week, that is exactly where I will be. I’m starting to feel that this time of our lives is called our ‘Golden Age’ because we have to become quite malleable.

Doctors are generally very nice, caring people. I enjoy being with them socially. I just can’t believe I’m spending so much time on their examination tables. I know my body is slowly diminishing, but I’m starting to feel that it’s become a spectator sport.

I am not alone.

Most of the inhabitants of the other chairs in these waiting rooms are also filled by my contemporaries. They have a lot of style. More often than not, I will hear a good joke or an intelligent discussion rather than a complaint. Frankly, we are a rather classy group.

Doctors’ offices are one of the few places today where you can have an intelligent conversation about that most incendiary of all current topics, politics. My fellow seniors seem to have sufficient confidence in their own observations and respect for those of others that they can conduct honest and interesting exchanges. I find that very refreshing in our current, vehemently partisan, culture.

So, ‘Hats off to you’ my fellow seniors. I’d rather not play ‘medical object’, but if I have to, I feel privileged to be a member of your group.

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My kayak was initially launched in the northeast. It became very familiar with the inlets and open waters of Narragansett Bay and has even tasted the swells of the Atlantic. It was there I discovered the joys of kayaking - wading with, and surprising, observant egrets, capturing glimpses of beautiful waterfront vistas, and delighting in the sounds and life of tidal estuaries.

It was also a great way to get a good swim. Tying a light cord between the kayak and my ankle, I could slip overboard and take a nice long swim in the open water with no threat of chlorine to spoil the day.

In a kayak, you barely ripple the surface of the earth. But you can glide rather quickly along while you listen to the whispers of nature. It is funny, but a kayak gives you that same surprised reaction from nature that a Prius gives you from pedestrians that have no idea that a car is close by. It is that same ‘sound of silence’ that evokes both surprises.

When we decided to change oceans and move to Seattle, I questioned whether I should try to bring my kayak along. I guess that I was so sad to leave the sailboat behind that I forced the kayak to make the trip. I am so happy that I did.

When my kayak first kissed the waters of Puget Sound, the air was still and warm. We eased into the waters so effortlessly that a few miles glided by before we even noticed. The coast is far more regular here. Rather than explore inlet after inlet, you tend to go from point to point. But there are some interesting surprises. The egrets are still there, not to mention some bald eagles. The biggest surprise, however, was an actual shipwreck, probably beached fifty years ago. The sea always brings surprises.

On both coasts, this wonder of nature can often be blasted away by someone on a jet ski that is addicted to speed in any form. The roar of those engines ignore the precious beauty through which they travel. But they are soon gone, and the gift returns. My transcontinental kayak can handle those small wakes, and the peace you experience while paddling can help quell many other disturbances that life throws at your psyche.

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There is no question that age discrimination is very real. It’s not due to workers costing more or driving up health care costs. It’s due to fear.

Step back and take a look at your standard corporation, Stagnant, Inc., today. The principal job most employees are working at is survival, i.e. to look good and avoid blame. One of their biggest exposures in that job is the hiring process. A brilliant hire reflects well on them; a poor one is an exposure.

Enter the headhunters, the experts in ‘safe’ hiring. They are in the business of providing clones of whatever that manager considers to be a brilliant hire. Age is definitely one of the criteria, and it is going to be less than the age of the hiring manager. Certainly, the hiring manager does not want to feel threatened by someone with more market savvy and business acumen.

Unfortunately, this leaves Stagnant, Inc. with the ‘same old, same old’ orientation and vision. Their hiring practices not only insulate them from experience in their own field, but in other fields as well. Today, it is impossible for someone from the petrochemical industry to switch to manufacturing. But if they did, think what a different orientation they would bring to the job. Cross pollination would be at work, and innovation would be the result.

Innovation used to be the business skill that set our country apart. Is our current economic struggle due to a loss of innovation? Certainly, you see very little innovation sparked by major US corporations today.

In the face of this, what actions should a senior take?

1. Forget the large companies. Follow the innovators, i.e. young companies doing less than $25 million in annual sales. The owner doesn’t have the time or the temperament for fear. That owner simply has a thirst for market survival and success.
2. Research the small companies in your area and identify ten that are in a growth mode. Study those firms and their competition. Identify ways that facets of your experience can help them develop their competitive edge. Once you determine that angle at a particular company, you are no longer old, you are golden.
3. Once you have an angle, get aggressive. Visit their lobby. Pick up their literature. Walk out the door and explore the lunch spots in their neighborhood. Pick one and talk to your server about the company. They may know someone or something that can help.
4. Take a deep breath and check your confidence level. Attitude is everything. Everyone is impressed by competence and confidence.
5. Once you feel confident enough to that you have something to say, it might be smart to make a ‘cold call’, i.e. walk through their door and ask to see the CEO or their HR honcho. A good outfit will route you to an assistant.
6. Use your time with the assistant to convey and validate your understanding of the company’s issues. Because they are at the assistant level, they will typically try to convey their best knowledge. They will also take your paperwork and contact information.
7. If you are uncomfortable with the cold call, write directly to the CEO. Stress your competence in the area you believe is under performing. It is always your responsibility to make the follow-up. Never leave it to them.
8. In negotiations, be flexible. If you start out as a contractor or temp, you will limit their legal and compliance exposure while getting a chance to demonstrate your skill set. If the chemistry is right, they would be foolish to miss the opportunity.
9. Smile and get to work. You have a challenge awaiting you, and the CEO is watching.

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Once we became eligible, my wife used to laugh whenever we went out to the movies. I would very firmly declare “two seniors” at the ticket window to secure the discount, while she would observe that we were grouped together with the children on the discount scale.

In many ways, we seniors are coupled with children. Both are subjected to age prejudice for the same reason, i.e. we are not viewed as major players in contemporary society. Our experience can be seen as passé, and our contacts have diminished through sickness, retirement, and death.

We also receive the same brand of prejudice, i.e. the “look through” brand of prejudice rather than the more hurtful “look away” variety. Because we are not viewed as players, we are ignored rather than avoided. It is a kinder form of prejudice, but it is still very frustrating.

How do you deal with this mindset during a job search?

1. To combat age prejudice, the first person you have to convince of its inaccuracy is yourself. If you allow yourself to focus upon, or be intimidated by, this barrier, it has achieved its exclusionary objective. Do not let it compromise your action plan.
2. Humor is the most effective weapon against prejudice of any kind. In a few quick words, it both recognizes the reality of that prejudice while at the same time removing the venom from its stinger. Remember how, in a presidential debate, Regan deftly responded that he would not use his opponent’s youth and inexperience against him. That classic zinger defused the entire age issue in that race.
3. In a job search, revise your resume to downplay the dates and stress the experience. You also may want to omit some early work and focus upon more recent activities.
4. Don’t be afraid to spend some time in volunteer efforts. These situations can present you with an opportunity to demonstrate your skills, make new contacts, and heighten your sense of self worth while producing a benefit for others.
5. As has always been the case in a job search at any age, contacts are your most important resource. Leverage your own as well as your children’s.

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One of the delights of being a grandparent is the chance to participate in the joy of new milestones. This is a refreshing antidote to that wet blanket of boredom that can engulf older folks with the feeling of “deja vu all over again.”

The longer we assemble an experience base, the more life seems to echo with the sound of “same old, same old.” Today’s latest happening or style seems too similar, or is an exact copy, of those from yesterday which we remember all too well. Sometimes we can appreciate the skillful execution of a revival, but the plot holds nothing new. Grandchildren lift us out of that stagnation.

Two days ago, I attended my grandson’s preschool graduation event. The room was ringed with chairs filled with parents and grandparents. The four year-olds trotted in with infectious enthusiasm, each wearing a mortar board topper filled with bright lettered quips. Each was called up by their gracious teacher who gave them each special praise. They received a necklace with their name, a special ring, and a colorful certificate with lots of sparkles that proclaimed their successful completion of their last year in preschool.

The smiles around the room were contagious. The mirth and joy were genuine. The delight was real. The cupcakes and strawberries served afterwards were enthusiastically enjoyed by all.

Life goes in cycles. Before preschool, the last graduation I attended was for my daughter’s doctorate. That day was very special, but it wasn’t my first university commencement. This day, in contrast, was very different. Preschool graduations are something brand new for me. I hope I get a chance to attend many more.

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With the buying power of the US dollar trending lower and interest rates receding, you might be tempted to hang up your touring spurs. But another approach to try is discovering the wonders that exist around the corner. I’m certain I wasn’t the only one who didn’t visit the Empire State Building until age 30, despite the fact that I had lived within an hour of it during all of those thirty years. But, because “it was always there”, any visit was repeatedly postponed. Perhaps now is the opportune time to fight the “always there” syndrome and visit those treasures that you never had time for.

Some ideas are -
1. Part of the fun of traveling is the planning. You should treat these local trips the very same way. With through preparation, you can deepen your appreciation and make certain you don’t miss out on the best places.
2. Develop a theme -

• One special project might be to visit every corner of the state in which you live. Another theme might be to follow an old, historical trail.
• Act like an out-of-towner, and take a bus tour of your local city.
• Universities might be hosting special exhibits or events during your trip. Take advantage of their attractions.

3. Once the plan evolves, schedule, make reservations, and go.

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Many folks who have moved to a new town have joined a Newcomers Club. This is a fairly informal organization that provides a structure for meeting other people that also are new to an area.

That same informal structure can work for seniors. Why not a New Retirees Club composed of people that have truly stopped working and are trying to adjust to this new senior lifestyle? Such a group could -

• pick a particular neighborhood or area on which to focus,
• publicize their existence through the Internet, local libraries and newspapers, and
• create a social network that could provide support to its members

Initially, the focus of such a group would primarily be social in nature. But as seniors in their 60’s and 70’s progress to elders in their 80’s and 90’s, more formal arrangements might be established. As a group, their purchasing power would exceed that of any individual. Pooling that power, they could retain the services of a social worker as well as a nurse to provide in-home services. These services could expand to include -

• Coordination Center - to answer any question and arrange services
• Daily phone calls - to monitor status
• Home Maintenance - repair, revisions, cleaning
• Local Transport - groceries, errands, appointments
• Meals - home delivery, dining groups
• Office - bill paying, computer problem solving
• Volunteer - opportunities with the group or in the area
• Exercise programs - group walks, sessions at local facilities
• Cultural - theater & museum trips
• Educational - classes at local organizations
• Assisted living - care offered in your home
• Nursing care - short term care arranged

Such a neighborhood network can permit people to stay in their homes and maintain their independence well beyond the norm. Aging can be celebrated as a shared adventure rather than feared in isolation.

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Challenging the “Look-Through”

Adapting to life as a senior citizen seems to require more than a few adjustments. Some of them are physical, e.g. hearing aids. Others might require a shift in our mental attitudes. I’ve begun to detect a certain attitude in casual situations, e.g. mid-day at the mall, where I’ve noticed a subtle shift in how I’m approached by others. I’ve begun to refer to it as the “look-through”.

At times, we have all guilty of some prejudice, a.k.a. pre-judging. I now believe that it seems to come in two flavors, look-away and look-through.

• Look-away prejudice is the most common type. Typically, it is sparked by a rejection of diversity in racial traits or physical disabilities. Whether based in fear or indifference, it projects the “I don’t want to get involved” attitude. Looking away means you don’t have to deal with this person, issue, or situation.

• Look-through prejudice is a relatively new experience. It has always been around and, on any given day, we unconsciously may be subject to it or may be doing it ourselves. With this prejudice, the person is simply ignored or dismissed. They are either too young or too old to deserve serious consideration and can simply be dismissed with a polite smile. There is no need for a look-away.
  

Because it is so subtle, most people would deny having any prejudice against senior citizens. Unfortunately, it seems to be all too real. As such, I feel it is the responsibility of the senior to recognize and deflect.

1. I firmly believe that humor is the very best foil against any form of prejudice. I try to be engaged and challenging in a polite, but slightly aggressive, manner.
2. Turning the tables by making a witty observation coupled with an offer of help can often switch an attitude and engage a dismissive person.

Am I being paranoid? Am I the only one that has observed this? Love to know what you think.

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