Still Clickin

What kind of pet person are you? There are bird-lovers, dog-lovers, cat-lovers, and goldfish-lovers. Everyone has their own particular favorite that was usually established during their youth. People that have had pets can even be classified as such. For example, we have dog-people, cat-people, and bird-people. Are you a certain pet-person?

If you are, maybe you are currently pet-less and rethinking that decision. Obviously, there are a number of pros and cons to such a decision, but the choice of the type of pet has a lot to do with most of them. There are a wide variety of pets that seniors may choose.

Dogs -
Dogs need and give love. Many studies indicate that having a dog really can help a senior’s health and attitude. Not only do they offer companionship, but their needs serve as an ongoing encouragement for some good exercise as well. Also, they are probably the best security system available on the market today.

If you are particular about breeds, you can contact the American Kennel Club and get a list of local breeders. Be prepared to open your wallet, however, since many breeds now go for $1,500 or more.

Another approach is to take a visit to the local animal shelter. These pets often have that wonderful price of ‘free’, although small donations are very welcome. These pets can vary widely, so you must look carefully to find the right dog for you. The people in the shelters understand animals and can provide you with a wealth of information. Don’t be afraid to ask. Before you “take the plunge”, consider -

• Age - If a dog is older than 18 months, it will not only be housebroken, its teeth will have grown in and it will also be less inclined to eat your slippers. If a dog is older than six, you may find not only health problems but an inability to adapt to new surroundings.
• Size - Golden Retriever mixes and Labrador mixes are great, but if you are going to walk the dog, you may need a smaller dog (who won’t pull you over when it chases after a squirrel). However, if you aren’t used to having a small dog around, you probably shouldn’t get a dog weighing less than 25 pounds. You don’t want to trip over the little thing because you didn’t see it.
• Allergies - If you have avoided dogs because you are allergic, look for dogs that don’t shed. Many terriers and poodles have this trait.
• Temperament - Undoubtedly, the vast majority of dogs have better temperaments than many people. A few, however, may have experienced poor treatment and developed a nasty streak as a consequence. Pay attention to how the dog reacts to you, since initially you are a stranger.

Cats -
“For a balanced ego, a person that has a dog to adore him should have a cat to ignore him.” That old quote is harsh, but contains an element of truth. Cats are much more independent than dogs. As long as they are properly fed and stroked occasionally, cats require far less attention than dogs. They quickly learn how to use a litter box and can amuse themselves for hours with a favorite toy. This independence allows a cat to tolerate much longer absences from their owners than dogs.

If you are looking for a cat at a shelter, many of the same cautions for dogs apply to cats. Their sizes, however, are much smaller. They compensate for their small size by their pronounced ability to quickly leap out of the way.

Other Critters -
For the most part, other small animals kept as pets live in defined enclosures. This reality makes them far less intrusive than dogs or cats. They each offer their own special qualities that can both divert and delight. They still require care, however, and someone else must mind them if you take a trip.

If you do live alone, having another living creature around the mansion has distinct benefits for all involved. Yes, they do require you to expend extra effort and care, but that is a gift. Answering needs is what life is all about.

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The vast majority of retirees spend their ‘golden’ years not only in the same town, but often in the same house. My wife and I, who spent practically all of our adult lives within seagull distance of the Atlantic, now find ourselves watching seagulls from the Pacific. We’ve not only changed houses; we’ve changed oceans.

Our first choice for our retiree home was a house on the East Coast that we thought would act as a magnetic and encourage visits from our three children. Unfortunately, the magnet had the wrong polarity. All three of our children landed in Seattle. Rather than live with phones and planes, we chose to pick up and engage the experience of West Coast living. After nearly five years of building a new nest and settling in, we still exchange glances at odd moments that say, “We did the right thing.”

What have we learned in the process?

1. The most important question every retiree must answer is not “Where will you be?” Instead, the real question is “How will you spend your time?” Activities of your choosing will define how live the rest of your life. Any destination you consider should be particularly suited to supporting how you want to spend your time. If alpine skiing tops your list of things you want to do, it is unlikely that Florida would be a good choice for you.
2. Location is the second most important choice for a retiree since it can enable or delimit so many other opportunities you will have. Make certain you are both comfortable with your reasons for changing your location. You both don’t have to have the same reasons, but you should understand what each other is expecting from the move.
3. Communication is key to this decision process. Some of you may be thirsting to try something new or to pursue a passion that has long festered. Others may want to get to, or return to, remote family or friends. You may find that some reasons may surprise you. But the only way to discover them is to talk a lot about it.
4. Once your general objectives for activities are clear, use them to build a balanced set of criteria for your new destination. Even if you already know the general area of your new location, you also have to decide on what are you looking for in any new home. Evaluating destinations seems to work best as an iterative process. Expect a few cycles of reevaluation before you start to feel comfortable with the ideas of both your choices. Obviously, there is no perfect home or place, but careful planning and discussion can increase your odds for success.
5. If possible, visit the new area a few times and talk to as many locals as you can. You want to find a place where people are quite willing to share their positive views. Each slice of geography and neighborhood has its own particular quirks. Use the time you have to learn as much as you can before you put the house on the market.
6. Once you are both comfortable with your decision, you must face the ugly realities of listing, selling, packing, and moving out. Home Buying and Selling can vary by market location, and the financial factors involved may influence some of your other choices. The only good thing about this process is that ultimately it has an end. The other side benefit is that you do get rid of a lot of ‘stuff’ that you have been meaning to discard for a long, long time.
7. The best advise we received for a major move was to rent for awhile before you buy any real estate. We thought we would avoid this step, but did not. In hindsight, we learned an awful lot during our rental period and made different purchase decisions as a consequence. For example, one of the first challenges in any new location is to [[find doctors, services]], and other resources to replace the familiar ones left behind. However, that search process can reveal a lot of subtleties about your new location that are impossible to detect otherwise.
8. Finding new friends can be the toughest challenge for seniors in any new setting. Since the kids have long flown the nest, the common meeting places of schools and youth activities no longer act as the common infrastructure for meeting and sharing with new friends. But friends are a critical component to any new location. Give yourself time, but fight any natural tendency you may have toward shyness. Prior to your move, research any local chapters of organizations or groups that you have belonged to in the past.
9. After you have learned the area and know what kind of home you are looking for, start your search and take your time. This may be your last nest, so make sure it has the features that are most important to you. Once you find it, you will both ‘know’, and the final stage of your relocation, ‘moving in’, can begin.

Some additional insights on relocation by seniors can be found in the Ohio State Senior Series.

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If you’re reading this, you already know about the Internet. The use of the Internet by the senior community is continually expanding. And it doesn’t have to cost you anything. At local libraries, computers are siting there waiting for your curiosity and fingertips.

What do seniors do with the Internet when their fingertips start moving? According to a report by the Pew Research Center, they are involved with -

*Email - This still drives their primary usage of the Internet. Keeping in touch without the hassle of time zones and time charges, email remains the primary reason why people keep going back to the Internet. It’s especially delightful when the message is from your grandchildren. Free email accounts can be established at Yahoo and other services.

*Finding Information - Once they finish with their email, people typically switch to Google or Yahoo to find out about something. They might be planning a trip, researching a problem, or comparing different brands of toasters. Not surprisingly, Most Internet searches on health topics are performed by seniors.

*Online Shopping - Once they have completed their research, seniors are not afraid to actually make a purchase. As noted in the Pew Report, nearly 50% of the online seniors actually are making purchases. One area of particular interest is travel, both planning and booking tickets. They also are not afraid to both sell and buy items on eBay.

In addition to these top three activities, seniors also explore other facets.

*Reading News - If they’ve moved away, seniors are very likely to scan the pages of the old hometown newspaper online. They are also avid readers of specialized news topics on politics, entertainment, and other targeted sectors. Even the headlines of major newspapers, e.g. New York Times, are available online.

*Sharing Photos - Whether directly through email or via a service like Flickr, seniors love to see the latest images of their grandchildren, grandnieces, and grandnephews.

*Skype - If you are geographically removed from loved ones, skype is a treasure for everyone regardless of age. Simply speaking, skype not only allows you to talk to those you love, but to see and interact with them from many miles away. The visuals of loved ones make them feel so much closer, and it can ease the worries and loneliness that distance can engender.

*Social Sharing - Seniors have not flocked to Facebook or Twitter. They might view a My Space or You Tube link contained in an email, but they are not going to enroll. At this point in their lives, seniors are far less intrigued by the social and gaming aspects of the Internet than are the younger members of our society. Instant messaging holds as little appeal as instant gratification. They prefer to respect privacy and to savor the anticipation of a thoughtful reply. They find important items more interesting than urgent ones.

*Blogs - Because seniors have the time, there are a surprising number of blogs by, for, and about seniors. They are quite often frank, intelligent, and very thought-provoking. They can not only make for fascinating reading, but they can often make you chuckle, cry, and pray. One huge favorite blog that publishes links to many others is Ronni Bennett’s Time Goes By A visit to Ronni’s site is always worthwhile.

The Internet presents all of these facilities and more. It has become an indispensable part of our lives. You should encourage any of your friends that are not involved to take a free course at the library. They may feel uncomfortable at first, but they will thank you profusely later.

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Selecting a computer was once a choice between an Apple and the PC. Then laptops were added to desktops. Now there are netbooks, mini PC’s, mini home theater PC’s, all-in-one’s, etc., etc.

But all these choices don’t have as much impact on the age 65+ market where an AARP poll reports that less than half of those seniors ever use a computer.

Is there any way for them to bridge that gap?

I have a relative, whom I love dearly, who does not use a computer. Her dear husband did, but he is now pushing daisies rather than pulling them. So she is left without email. Her grandchildren can’t send her photos of their latest activities. She lives “without a net.”

I suspect that we all know someone like that, and in some ways, we envy them. Computer viruses, spam, and printer cartridges are things they simply do not have to think about. They can ignore all the warnings about fraudulent vendors on eBay. Backup is what they do when they drive out of the garage. Files are only used for manicures.

But those of us that live with computers can no longer conceive of a life without them. Email is a daily affair. We are always investigating something on Google. And yet, we are frustrated to know that there are people with whom we can’t share certain things because they are not linked in. Is there any way to bridge this gap?

One low impact way to both learn about and use a computer is to visit one of your area’s Local Libraries. Most libraries today have multiple computers available for their clients. Usually there is a sign-up sheet. Although there may be a time limit of an hour or two, this restriction usually applies only after the hour that school is out.

But in addition to easily accessible computers, libraries quite often offer training. They particularly want to encourage participation among senior citizens. Inquire at your own local library, and I suspect you will be amazed at the amount of support available. For example, one library in Florida offers an extensive program of courses. And they are all free.

So if you are a senior citizen with an inch of curiosity, try a computer at your local library. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy the experience.

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If you are delving into your genealogy, one of the treasure’s you can explore is the local lore of family memories. I wish I had done a much better job of that when I was younger. I could have learned a lot. Now, I’m part of that older generation, and its time for me to recapture memories of our family’s shared past. For example, remembering the first visits to my father’s family when I was young.

I never met his dad, my grandfather. He died nearly a decade before my birth. But I do remember many trips to see Grandma. My Dad would go more often, but the whole family went practically every summer.

I remember one trip during the early years of WWII. The five of us were packed into the old, black Dodge, and my Mother was worried that the car wouldn’t make it. But we cruised along up through the Pocono Mountains, and as we crested one hill, we could see the city of Wilkes-Barre spread out below us. It hugged the shore of the Susquehanna River

Grandma’s house was located at the top of a hill on a side street to a main shopping street. The houses lined the street, but all of the garages were situated on a separate alley behind the row of homes. They were probably first built for carriages, rather than cars, and sited to provide a bit of separation. Her house was surrounded by a wrought iron fence, and we could safely run around in the yard.

As you entered her front door, there was a pallor to the right. This room had the nice furniture and lace curtains, and you weren’t allowed to play in there. Walking back further into the house, there was a dining room on the right and a big kitchen in the back. The heart of the kitchen was a big, cast iron stove. It was heated by coal, and every morning Grandma would get up stoke the fire and add more coal to heat it up again for the next day. Wilkes-Barre sat in the heart of the anthracite coal region, and many people in the family and the region worked for the mines. Everyone used coal.

The smells from the kitchen were wonderful, and Grandma fed us and fed us. Sometimes she would use funny words when she talked. My mother told us that she learned those words in the “old country”. When we asked what she meant, Grandma would laugh and tell us what the words meant in English.

One day, our cousins, Jeannie, Annie, and Carole came over to visit. Annie was near my age, and she was nice. We all had our picture taken with Grandma on the front porch.

Aunt Margaret and Uncle Pat lived with Grandma. Uncle Joe was much younger than my father, and he would go out and play ball with us in the yard. During our visit, we went to a park and played in the cool water of Bear Creek. Uncle Joe was with us, and he tried to teach me how to swim. When I hesitated, he threw me into the middle of the creek and told me that I had to “sink or swim”. I swam the doggy paddle back to shore, and he was enormously proud. I’ve always loved swimming ever since.

After dinner, we would read or listen to the radio. The men would sit around the dining room table, play cards, and drink some Stegmaier Beer. The Stegmaier Brewery was located down at the bottom of the hill, and you could often smell the pervasive aroma of the hops. When no one was looking, Uncle Joe gave me a small juice glass of Stegmaier Beer. I drank it all down, but my father yelled at him and said I was too young. Uncle Joe loved to get us into trouble.

After church on Sunday, we went out the back gate, across and down the alley to visit the O’Donnell’s. Patrick was Grandma’s brother. He, and his wife Mary and daughter Kathleen laughed a lot and told us stories. They were very nice to us and served us the most cold, delicious root beer. Patrick and Grandma talked a lot to each other using the funny words, and said that was the language they used when they were our age. Uncle Patrick had to leave after a while to tend to the pub that he owned.

The next day, my father brought me to see Uncle Patrick at his pub. The men sat and sipped their beer while I had more of that cold root beer. After that, my Dad and I walked a few blocks over to see the house where he grew up. It was a nice house, but not as big as where Grandma is now and not as close to Uncle Patrick.

We had a great time at Grandma’s, and I remember being so sorry that we couldn’t go the following year because our gasoline rationing sticker wouldn’t allow us enough gas to make it. But we did make it the next year and many, many more.

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You can have an American Express card and “never leave home without it.” Or you can have a Master Card because its “priceless.” To me, I think my local library card is worth more.

While Google, which is as close as your keyboard, has replaced the library as the first place to start research, your local library also has a fair amount of information and resources readily available. Unlike Google, it offers a tactile experience as you peruse the stacks in an area of interest that might have just occurred to you. For example -

• SIC catalogs for businesses
• Consumer Reports archives
• Numerous magazine archives
• Today’s newspapers, as well as last week’s
• How to manuals on innumerable topics
• A wide range of entertaining fiction
• Informative non-fiction
• DVD’s of a variety of movies and documentaries, and recently
• Downloads of recent publications for your Kindle, etc.

Of course, if you do have a Google itch that you must scratch, computers are stationed there just waiting to address that need. And for these computers, someone else worries about maintaining the anti-virus software. You don’t have to.

Our local library not only offers all these treasures, it provides quiet, comfortable niches in which to nestle and enjoy. Often, it can seem like a little vacation just to stop by for a couple of hours, browse for awhile, discover a new book or author, and park in an easy chair to devour the first few chapters. Our local library may not serve coffee, but one cozy corner does even boast a fireplace.

All these treasures, both near at hand and free. Your local library truly is a treasure. If you want a treat, discover it again this week.

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Soon, we are scheduled to take a trip to the land of my ancestors. In addition, some of the members of my family’s next generation have been asking for any hints about their lineage. They have even uncovered and shown me some information that I had never seen. With all of those prods, I finally started to turn back some pages on our family’s history, and I am surprised at how much I am discovering.

A lot of the information still sits on handwritten records in some musty archive. But that being said, there is still an incredible amount that is available online. What I have discovered so far -

• A great grandfather and a photo of himself to boot.
• A great aunt and uncle whom I had never heard about.
• Dates, facts, and specifics on one side of the family that are supported by written records.
• A challenge to uncover more about the other side of the family.

Most American families came from “somewhere else”. We’re immigrants. Whether for political, social, or economic reasons, someone in our personal lineage had the courage to say, “Let’s move.” I can only guess at how heart-wrenching it must have been to leave family, friends, and the familiar and strike out for a new country. Our ancestors were very brave people.

To discover the stories of these people. To learn how many died in their thirties while others endured into their nineties. To scrape some distant recollections from the memories of your early youth. To discover ancestral photos, that you’ve never seen, revealed by distant cousins, that you never knew existed. These are the delights that make the tedious research of genealogy all worth it.

Your approach may be different, but I -

• started with the ship manifests at Ellis Island
• switched to Google using both names of various spellings as well as dates and addresses that I unveiled.
• followed these searches to government records, generally census records, which may be digitized or simply scanned and organized by geography rather than name.
• also followed these searches to the postings made by other people whose search may overlap with my own.

At this point, you are finished with most of the freebies. There are a lot of sites out there that are all too willing to help . . . for a price. You have to filter these to see if any are worth it for your search, but I’m considering -

• Ancestry.com which has the decency to offer a 14-day free trial. This site seems to offer the most complete facilities and have the longest reach.
• Government Genealogy Search which says its free, but their hand is out. They search multiple government databases.
• One Great Family gives a seven-day free trial.

This is the type of search that never really ends, but I now encourage others to try.
You really might enjoy the challenge . . . and expect everyone in the family to want a copy!

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With retirement comes the gift of time. And one way to use that time, recharge your batteries, and perhaps scratch a long-postponed yen, is to travel. Even though the finances of most people have been downsized over the past year, the economy has also created many bargains for those that have anything left. It may be time to scratch that itch.

Whether its around the block or around the world, travel brings an exposure to new vistas and experiences that shakes us out of our same-old-same-old routines. That bit of shaking gives us all a new sense of time, an event to mark our lives. In that way, it can be very healthful and rewarding, especially if it is shared.

But travel also brings its own set of challenges - planning, expenses, preparation and inconveniences - that can prove to be a hassle for many. For a successful trip, its imperative that we meet those challenges with a sense of fun.

Planning -
Both a weekend bus tour and an extended trip overseas take careful planning, and it’s fun to do. Part of the fun is discovering what is possible, learning more about the history and culture of an area, and targeting or avoiding local events that can draw extra crowds. To start,

• Set a Budget - No sense planning for a trip that breaks the bank. Pick a number, assume you’ll exceed it by 10%, and then explore what that number makes possible. Since sleeping is often the largest travel expense, how long you travel can have a greater impact on expenses than how far.
• Picking your Style - It’s silly to force yourself into a style you abhor, but the style that you find to be fun can have a major impact on your choice of destinations and budget. Guided tours are efficient, but less spontaneous. Cruises can feel exquisite to some and confining to others. For the physically fit, Elder Hostel & trekking may be the only way to go.
• Finding Destinations - One of the most interesting aspects of planning a trip is choosing your destination(s). exchange rates may influence the countries you choose, but this isn’t even an issue if you stay within your own borders.
• Selecting Travel Times - You can stretch your budget a lot if you avoid peak seasons and big events. If your desire is to do a museum crawl in Europe, February can be an excellent time.
• Using Travel agents - If you feel intimidated by the mass of information that the Internet delivers, you can always use a travel agent. Quite often, the fees that they charge may be offset by the deals they can discover.

Preparation -

• Read a Book - Once you’ve decided and locked in your itinerary, you can begin your preparation. The first thing I like to do is find an historical novel about the area to become steeped in its history.
• Travel guides - Find a good travel guide that is oriented toward your style. Make sure that it is light enough to carry, because you’ll want to take it along, as well as sufficiently detailed so that you can become informed as you go.
• Chart your Route - Learn enough about the locations that you can chart your overall course as well as the specific path you want to take through the cities or countryside.
• What to pack? - The short answer is ‘Less’. Everyone always takes too much. Plan to do some laundry, especially at anyplace you are staying for a couple of nights. We lessen drying time by rolling wet garments in a towel and stepping on it.

Have Fun -
Once you arrive, make certain you have some fun. Daily burdens can sometimes make people forget how to have fun, and travel is one way to force yourself out of that rut. Travel always brings some inconveniences, but is also brings adventure. So what if no one speaks your language or the bed sags. Use gestures, move the mattress to the floor, and laugh. Adventures are fun!

Helpful Links -
There are many. Here are some favorites -

• For airfare and other quotes from multiple sites try Kayak.
• Another source of both travels opinions as well as multiple quotes for fares, hotels, etc. try TripAdvisor.
• For alerts on travel specials, try TravelZoo.
• Elder Hostel offers diverse adventures for seniors.
• For packing and all sorts of other advice, go to the Rick Steves site.
• Of course, AARP Travel offers lots of info and specific tours.
• Lastly, if you’re headed beyond US borders, go to the government site for the latest information.

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Retirement comes with a mixed blessing . . . Time. All of a sudden, you gain a lot more control over your time and how you use it. Of course, there are legions of pundits at the ready to tell you just how you should use it, but I often wonder how many of these people have tried it themselves. This is especially true when it come to exercise, both physical and mental. We all know that we should do both, but which form is best?

One mental exercise that I have tried is the crossword puzzle in the New York Times. When I was still working, I sometimes tried it during the commute home when I didn’t have any task that was left over from work. Now, without the commute, I can do it any day I want.

My encounter with the NY Times Crossword began as a mild diversion that was completely mysterious at first. I didn’t even realize that there was a theme to the three or four long answers in each puzzle. Like most things, however, you soon develop a sense of its rhythm and discover that its level of difficulty increases throughout the week.

On Monday and Tuesday, both the clues and their answers are reasonably straightforward. The answers typically consist of one word. The clues usually have only one or two meanings. Sometimes, Monday can seem tougher than Tuesday, but usually it is the other way around. If you are new to crosswords, don’t try anything other than Monday or Tuesday, or you will quickly become discouraged.

On Wednesday, the clues start to become both more subtle and more diverse. For example, a question mark at the end of a clue indicates a fairly bizarre connection, e.g. the answer for the clue, ‘Homeland plot?’, could be ‘acre’. Also, the answers start to require multiple words, e.g. the answer for ‘Just for laughs’ could be ‘in fun’. Nonetheless, you are still working with one letter per box.

That can change on Thursday. On that day, a variety of tricks may start to appear. A box may require a symbol, or multiple letters, or an entire word. You begin to recognize this is happening when nothing seems to fit. Of course, that meaning has to work both directions, across and down. It is that double requirement that helps you uncover the secret. At this point, you recognize that the trickster that created this puzzle is really trying to fool you.

On Friday, you encounter the classic tough puzzle. All of the clues either have multiple meanings or are extremely obscure. Many of the answers require phrases rather than words. Whenever you finish a Friday puzzle, you start to feel that you are really are learning how to wrestle with this trickster, especially if you do it in ink.

Saturday’s puzzles are like Friday’s, but the answers are longer. Sunday’s puzzles are twice the size of the daily ones, but include elements of each day of the week.

Solving crosswords can not only be a diversion, it can also be a social, cooperative effort. My wife and I often share one, challenging each other with those difficult clues. It is not rocket science, but it is definitely an exercise for your brain cells. At our age, that can’t hurt!

You can find the crossword in any issue of the Times. I access it by just buying the paper. But you can also try a free puzzle online. You can also sign up for an annual online subscription if you get hooked.

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Lately, for an unrelated reason, I’ve had to visit a number of senior centers. Having never been to a senior center before, I had no idea what to expect. Would they act as a center for social services? Would they cater more to the frail than to the active? Would they be buzzing with social activities or quiet and staid? Would it be the type of place I could see myself ever becoming involved with?

The answer is - all of the above.

Although into my seventh decade, I still consider myself to be blessed with good health. Despite losing two teeth and gaining three scars last year, I still am a “second story man”, i.e. climbing the extension ladder, cleaning the gutters, and fixing the roof. In other words, “active”.

Would I want to become involved with a senior center? The answer is - it depends.

Like any social organization, it takes no more than five minutes to size up any particular senior center. In some, you felt the buzz as soon as you walked in the door.

At one center, bridge, ping-pong, book discussions, lectures and excursions were all in process at once. People were quite engaged. There was laughter and enthusiasm. The staff was welcoming and friendly. You not only felt that you could become involved, you hoped you could keep up.

Contrast that with another center where quiet pervaded the space. There were a number of people there, but only a few were even talking. Perhaps they were there for a mid-day meal. Possibly, this was the day that everyone else was off on an excursion. I do not know. I do know that the staff seemed quite defensive and ineffective. I do know that I would not want to return.

Ironically, these two centers were in located in similar demographics and less than five miles apart. Yet the difference was night and day. What that tells me is, if you are looking for a place to meet other seniors for activities and social interaction, shop around.

Like shoes, each of the different senior centers seemed to have their own style, comfort level, and purpose. I would shop until I located a place that fit mine - even if it meant another half-hour riding the bus.

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