Family Holiday Gatherings . . . Sometimes Love Hurts

Author: admin  |  Category: Relationships

When our children were young, there were times that I would forget and kiss them with unshaven lips. When they would shout, “Daddy, stop that”, I would respond with one of our standard family lines, “Sometimes love hurts.”

As everyone in any family grows older, we can sometimes unknowingly hurt one another with our emotional whiskers. And as everyone in every family knows, holiday times are often the moments during which such whiskers can especially chafe. It seems like every other holiday movie is built around this theme. We just saw, “Nothing Like the Holidays”, and it certainly explores that theme.

Because of the pervasive atmosphere of good will and good cheer, the holiday season raises our expectation levels, and we all apply our highest levels of expectation to the members of our own families. But, if you want to, it is really easy to avoid the risk of those emotional whiskers by careful and thoughtful action. Specifically -

  • If you see each other often enough during the year, misunderstandings don’t build and fester.
  • The key to all healthy relationships, communication, generally resolves any issues before they build up.
  • For those that are separated by geography, regular visits over Skype, the Internet video phone, can help bridge the separation and encourage further communication.
  • Obviously, you have to commit yourself to work on any relationship, but particularly those within your own family. The emotional whiskers grow whenever family members are taken for granted.

With young children, the holidays are a natural time to celebrate them, their lives and aspirations. As these children grow, to age 20 or 60, that desire for celebration still exists. It began with the family and will always center itself there. Now is the season to steep yourself in that joy. It is where we learn the meaning and dimensions of the word Love, even if . . . “Sometimes love hurts”.

NB. Click below to make a comment. Even better, expand on the original article by going to wikiSenior and clicking on ‘edit’.

Computers . . . Risking Technology

Author: admin  |  Category: Activities, Technology

Selecting a computer was once a choice between an Apple and the PC. Then laptops were added to desktops. Now there are netbooks, mini PC’s, mini home theater PC’s, all-in-one’s, etc., etc.

But all these choices don’t have as much impact on the age 65+ market where an AARP poll reports that less than half of those seniors ever use a computer.

Is there any way for them to bridge that gap?

I have a relative, whom I love dearly, who does not use a computer. Her dear husband did, but he is now pushing daisies rather than pulling them. So she is left without email. Her grandchildren can’t send her photos of their latest activities. She lives “without a net.”

I suspect that we all know someone like that, and in some ways, we envy them. Computer viruses, spam, and printer cartridges are things they simply do not have to think about. They can ignore all the warnings about fraudulent vendors on eBay. Backup is what they do when they drive out of the garage. Files are only used for manicures.

But those of us that live with computers can no longer conceive of a life without them. Email is a daily affair. We are always investigating something on Google. And yet, we are frustrated to know that there are people with whom we can’t share certain things because they are not linked in. Is there any way to bridge this gap?

One low impact way to both learn about and use a computer is to visit one of your area’s Local Libraries. Most libraries today have multiple computers available for their clients. Usually there is a sign-up sheet. Although there may be a time limit of an hour or two, this restriction usually applies only after the hour that school is out.

But in addition to easily accessible computers, libraries quite often offer training. They particularly want to encourage participation among senior citizens. Inquire at your own local library, and I suspect you will be amazed at the amount of support available. For example, one library in Florida offers an extensive program of courses. And they are all free.

So if you are a senior citizen with an inch of curiosity, try a computer at your local library. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy the experience.

NB. Click below to make a comment. Even better, expand on the original article by going to wikiSenior and clicking on ‘edit’.

Artificial Christmas Trees . . . Another Rite of Passage

Author: admin  |  Category: Opinion

There are certain rites of passage that one must experience as an active senior citizen in this US of A. You first sign up for the AARP because you want to become aware of what’s going on in Washington and elsewhere. Then, it gets serious when you become a card-carrying Medicare enrollee. After that, comes Downsizing and Volunteering. This holiday season we took the next step, the Artificial Christmas Tree.

For a number of years we heard the comments. ‘Everyone said’ that a real tree was simply too much of a hassle. Think of all the effort and strain involved. You have to - go to the lot, tie it to the car, get it off the car, fresh cut the base, set in water, set it into the stand, move it into the house, fill the base with water, clean up the needles, trim the odd branches, string the lights, and keep watering it throughout the season. As you get older, all of this hassle will become too much and you will simply have to change to an artificial tree.

We heard this advise for years, and gleefully ignored it. We’ve always had a real tree and cherish those memories - going to the tree lots of the church or Boy Scouts, then making the expedition to the tree farms with the kids and chopping our own, going to the tree farms with the dog when the kids were older, scaling back to the convenience of trees from a chain store. But the trees were real. The scent pervasive. We were proud to host the Balsams, Scotch Pines, Douglas firs, Frasers, and Nobles. It meant that the season had truly arrived.

Convinced that sooner or later we had to make the change, this year we faced this next rite of passage. We went out and bought a poly-something tree. Frankly, I was a bit embarrassed when I checked out at the register. I threw the box into the trunk of the car since there was no need to tie it on. Then, brought it home, set it up, spread out each little ‘branch’, plugged it in, and . . . Viola! Instant Christmas.

We brought in some pine branches to add a bit of scent, but I feel a bit less authentic this year. It is easier. It has a perfect shape. There is no need to water, but . . . somehow, I miss the hassle. I’m not sure I was ready for ‘easier’.

NB. Click below to make a comment. Even better, expand on the original article by going to wikiSenior and clicking on ‘edit’.

Geneology2 . . . Remembering Early visits to Grandma’s

Author: admin  |  Category: Activities, Hobbies, Relationships

If you are delving into your genealogy, one of the treasure’s you can explore is the local lore of family memories. I wish I had done a much better job of that when I was younger. I could have learned a lot. Now, I’m part of that older generation, and its time for me to recapture memories of our family’s shared past. For example, remembering the first visits to my father’s family when I was young.

I never met his dad, my grandfather. He died nearly a decade before my birth. But I do remember many trips to see Grandma. My Dad would go more often, but the whole family went practically every summer.

I remember one trip during the early years of WWII. The five of us were packed into the old, black Dodge, and my Mother was worried that the car wouldn’t make it. But we cruised along up through the Pocono Mountains, and as we crested one hill, we could see the city of Wilkes-Barre spread out below us. It hugged the shore of the Susquehanna River

Grandma’s house was located at the top of a hill on a side street to a main shopping street. The houses lined the street, but all of the garages were situated on a separate alley behind the row of homes. They were probably first built for carriages, rather than cars, and sited to provide a bit of separation. Her house was surrounded by a wrought iron fence, and we could safely run around in the yard.

As you entered her front door, there was a pallor to the right. This room had the nice furniture and lace curtains, and you weren’t allowed to play in there. Walking back further into the house, there was a dining room on the right and a big kitchen in the back. The heart of the kitchen was a big, cast iron stove. It was heated by coal, and every morning Grandma would get up stoke the fire and add more coal to heat it up again for the next day. Wilkes-Barre sat in the heart of the anthracite coal region, and many people in the family and the region worked for the mines. Everyone used coal.

The smells from the kitchen were wonderful, and Grandma fed us and fed us. Sometimes she would use funny words when she talked. My mother told us that she learned those words in the “old country”. When we asked what she meant, Grandma would laugh and tell us what the words meant in English.

One day, our cousins, Jeannie, Annie, and Carole came over to visit. Annie was near my age, and she was nice. We all had our picture taken with Grandma on the front porch.

Aunt Margaret and Uncle Pat lived with Grandma. Uncle Joe was much younger than my father, and he would go out and play ball with us in the yard. During our visit, we went to a park and played in the cool water of Bear Creek. Uncle Joe was with us, and he tried to teach me how to swim. When I hesitated, he threw me into the middle of the creek and told me that I had to “sink or swim”. I swam the doggy paddle back to shore, and he was enormously proud. I’ve always loved swimming ever since.

After dinner, we would read or listen to the radio. The men would sit around the dining room table, play cards, and drink some Stegmaier Beer. The Stegmaier Brewery was located down at the bottom of the hill, and you could often smell the pervasive aroma of the hops. When no one was looking, Uncle Joe gave me a small juice glass of Stegmaier Beer. I drank it all down, but my father yelled at him and said I was too young. Uncle Joe loved to get us into trouble.

After church on Sunday, we went out the back gate, across and down the alley to visit the O’Donnell’s. Patrick was Grandma’s brother. He, and his wife Mary and daughter Kathleen laughed a lot and told us stories. They were very nice to us and served us the most cold, delicious root beer. Patrick and Grandma talked a lot to each other using the funny words, and said that was the language they used when they were our age. Uncle Patrick had to leave after a while to tend to the pub that he owned.

The next day, my father brought me to see Uncle Patrick at his pub. The men sat and sipped their beer while I had more of that cold root beer. After that, my Dad and I walked a few blocks over to see the house where he grew up. It was a nice house, but not as big as where Grandma is now and not as close to Uncle Patrick.

We had a great time at Grandma’s, and I remember being so sorry that we couldn’t go the following year because our gasoline rationing sticker wouldn’t allow us enough gas to make it. But we did make it the next year and many, many more.

NB. Click below to make a comment. Even better, expand on the original article by going to wikiSenior and clicking on ‘edit’.