Still Clickin

During these past summer months, we’ve had a number of out-of-town friends grace us with a visit (and I’ve become a lazy blogger). We’ve also been to a number of social events with local friends. We’ve even acquired new neighbors with which to share our newfound surroundings here in the Northwest. Gathering together with so many folks, we had a good chance to discuss our latest quandaries. I learned a few new things about this world of retirement that we share.

Some things may not have changed. Our joints all seem to need a bit more lubrication. Our attitudes all seem to be more flexible. Personally, I always seem to sport another new scar. But listening closely, I began to realize that a number of changes had occurred.

It’s easy to pick up on the major events, like moving, marriages, and more grandchildren. But it’s the smaller, more subtle events that are often more interesting. One friend was installing grab bars in his shower. Another has started volunteering at a local hospital. A third was playing more golf. Still another was completely restructuring all of her finances. The one common thread was change. All of these friends had encountered obstacles and were choosing their own changes to adapt to the new situation.

It made me realize how critical our talent for adaptability is and how important it is to maintain it. It can be easy to get into a comfortable groove and do the same-old, same-old everyday. But I’m beginning to realize that may be the wrong tactic. Just like we walk to keep the blood circulating, maybe we have to force changes on a regular basis to keep our adaptability honed.

These changes can be simple, e.g. starting to use that new technical gizmo, charting new paths for the daily strut, rearranging the furniture, or launching a new project or activity. But change for change sake may have a point after all. If it helps us to maintain our level of adaptability, the slight disruptions we encounter may be worth it. Sooner or later we may all start dancing the hesitation shuffle, i.e. trying to remember where to find the same bathroom we just visited thirty minutes ago. But those that can still adapt may solve it by installing a neon sign that says “This Way”.

Until a major health event, we all expect that our own aging will progress gradually, and that we assume that we will be able to make adaptations to cope with the process along the way. Our personal dignity is tightly bond to our independence, and making those appropriate adaptations is critical to maintaining that independence. It never occurred to me that I could lose the very ability to adapt, both mental and physical, unless I continue to exercise it.

Visit with Ronni Bennett, my blogging idol and an eminent guru on aging, to learn about her encounter with adaptability. Then visit with her contributing Geriatrician to learn how important and wonderful this talent called adaptability can be.

At the end of the day, that old line, “aging is not for wimps”, just seems to keep reasserting itself all too often. Although each of us encounters the challenges of aging differently, each of us has to make our own choices as to how we adapt. But adapt we must . . . even if that means we have to adapt our adaptability.

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Retirement comes with a mixed blessing . . . Time. All of a sudden, you gain a lot more control over your time and how you use it. Of course, there are legions of pundits at the ready to tell you just how you should use it, but I often wonder how many of these people have tried it themselves. This is especially true when it come to exercise, both physical and mental. We all know that we should do both, but which form is best?

One mental exercise that I have tried is the crossword puzzle in the New York Times. When I was still working, I sometimes tried it during the commute home when I didn’t have any task that was left over from work. Now, without the commute, I can do it any day I want.

My encounter with the NY Times Crossword began as a mild diversion that was completely mysterious at first. I didn’t even realize that there was a theme to the three or four long answers in each puzzle. Like most things, however, you soon develop a sense of its rhythm and discover that its level of difficulty increases throughout the week.

On Monday and Tuesday, both the clues and their answers are reasonably straightforward. The answers typically consist of one word. The clues usually have only one or two meanings. Sometimes, Monday can seem tougher than Tuesday, but usually it is the other way around. If you are new to crosswords, don’t try anything other than Monday or Tuesday, or you will quickly become discouraged.

On Wednesday, the clues start to become both more subtle and more diverse. For example, a question mark at the end of a clue indicates a fairly bizarre connection, e.g. the answer for the clue, ‘Homeland plot?’, could be ‘acre’. Also, the answers start to require multiple words, e.g. the answer for ‘Just for laughs’ could be ‘in fun’. Nonetheless, you are still working with one letter per box.

That can change on Thursday. On that day, a variety of tricks may start to appear. A box may require a symbol, or multiple letters, or an entire word. You begin to recognize this is happening when nothing seems to fit. Of course, that meaning has to work both directions, across and down. It is that double requirement that helps you uncover the secret. At this point, you recognize that the trickster that created this puzzle is really trying to fool you.

On Friday, you encounter the classic tough puzzle. All of the clues either have multiple meanings or are extremely obscure. Many of the answers require phrases rather than words. Whenever you finish a Friday puzzle, you start to feel that you are really are learning how to wrestle with this trickster, especially if you do it in ink.

Saturday’s puzzles are like Friday’s, but the answers are longer. Sunday’s puzzles are twice the size of the daily ones, but include elements of each day of the week.

Solving crosswords can not only be a diversion, it can also be a social, cooperative effort. My wife and I often share one, challenging each other with those difficult clues. It is not rocket science, but it is definitely an exercise for your brain cells. At our age, that can’t hurt!

You can find the crossword in any issue of the Times. I access it by just buying the paper. But you can also try a free puzzle online. You can also sign up for an annual online subscription if you get hooked.

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Lately, for an unrelated reason, I’ve had to visit a number of senior centers. Having never been to a senior center before, I had no idea what to expect. Would they act as a center for social services? Would they cater more to the frail than to the active? Would they be buzzing with social activities or quiet and staid? Would it be the type of place I could see myself ever becoming involved with?

The answer is - all of the above.

Although into my seventh decade, I still consider myself to be blessed with good health. Despite losing two teeth and gaining three scars last year, I still am a “second story man”, i.e. climbing the extension ladder, cleaning the gutters, and fixing the roof. In other words, “active”.

Would I want to become involved with a senior center? The answer is - it depends.

Like any social organization, it takes no more than five minutes to size up any particular senior center. In some, you felt the buzz as soon as you walked in the door.

At one center, bridge, ping-pong, book discussions, lectures and excursions were all in process at once. People were quite engaged. There was laughter and enthusiasm. The staff was welcoming and friendly. You not only felt that you could become involved, you hoped you could keep up.

Contrast that with another center where quiet pervaded the space. There were a number of people there, but only a few were even talking. Perhaps they were there for a mid-day meal. Possibly, this was the day that everyone else was off on an excursion. I do not know. I do know that the staff seemed quite defensive and ineffective. I do know that I would not want to return.

Ironically, these two centers were in located in similar demographics and less than five miles apart. Yet the difference was night and day. What that tells me is, if you are looking for a place to meet other seniors for activities and social interaction, shop around.

Like shoes, each of the different senior centers seemed to have their own style, comfort level, and purpose. I would shop until I located a place that fit mine - even if it meant another half-hour riding the bus.

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