Unless their toes are cold, many people I know, including me, don’t like to wear shoes. They like to spread their toes and feel the earth . . . or the carpet. With our feet, we directly engage our surroundings.
But formalities, gravel, and cold temperatures often can force our toes into shoes. Whenever that occurs, I much prefer old shoes. My old shoes know my feet, and my feet know them. They have adapted, through thousands of steps, to the bumps and contours of my individual tootsies, and they no longer conform to the standardized last from which they first were formed. They are now entirely customized to these two feet.
Whenever worn, the feet recognize that these two shoes are not strangers. They have history together. That history once may have left the toes with some blisters and the shoes with some scrapes, but leather has stretched and calluses formed. These feet and shoes now know each other’s quirks. They have adapted and accepted. They really fit.
Old friends are like that. Old friends adapt to our personalities, and we to theirs. Any particular quirks of our personalities have rubbed against the quirks of theirs. Long ago, we both have adapted. We have learned and earned history with one another. We are familiar with their struggles. We have watched their children blossom as they have watched ours. We have and share history.
Recently, we once again experienced the gift of old friends. As new nor’westers, we were visited by some of our old nor’easter friends. We have know these folks for more than thirty years. We have shared successes and failures, the wonders of growing families, and the challenges of daily survival.
With these old friends, we had no need for “safe” conversations. We could freely thrash about with our latest thoughts on politics, religion, and family without any fear of boring or offending. We knew ahead of time that any possible faux pas was automatically accepted, forgiven, and enthusiastically disputed. We had learned to stretch and callus a long time ago. We simply “fit”.
Through the experience of moving to another ocean, we have had the experience of meeting many new friends. New friends can be interesting. The challenge of meeting new friends can be exciting. When meeting new friends, we not only have the opportunity to learn something about them, but also something new about ourselves.
But nothing can match the familiarity, comfort, and warmth of old friends. Like fine wines, old friends mellow and improve with age.
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