When dealing with the first layer of the retirement lifecycle, the big issues, i.e. finances, health, real estate, etc., all seem to take center stage. Change forces us to re-evaluate prior assumptions and make suitable adjustments. But once those adaptations have been made, the more subtle aspects of retirement seep into our daily rhythms, i.e. limitations, loneliness, and purpose.
Living life with a clear sense of purpose is always a challenge at any age. Defining careers, embracing families, and giving back can stretch anyone to the point that they can lose the sense of purpose. Learning Selfless Love, that ultimate purpose of life, can take a back seat to the urgent, the critical, and the just-a-sec of daily survival.
But in retirement, purpose can become an even more elusive goal. If much of your everyday world was focused upon the daily challenges of family and work, then living with fewer demands from both of these sectors can leave you with an unwelcome sense of emptiness.
Retirement gifts you with that rare gift of Time. The basic question returns, “What are you going to do with your time?” To any intelligent person, it quickly becomes obvious that drifting is not an acceptable answer. But the right answer for one particular person, a.k.a. you, can be elusive. The blunt reality is that you are demanding a better answer for yourself than you have accepted in the past. You can have grown to become very comfortable with the big picture of your life, but stymied by some of the everyday details. It takes some work to figure it all out.
The details are not trivial.
- Family - Your role as a grandparent is simply not as demanding as that of a parent. Once the grandchildren are in school, their schedules don’t permit as much “together time” with grandparents.
- Work - Because of the “age hurdle”, the choices for an engagement in some productive work activity seem to be segmented into (1) unimaginative, low-scale paid work, or (2) potentially more creative, challenging, and satisfying, but unpaid, volunteer work.
- Travel - Can be a very meaningful activity if it is a learning experience as well as a shared moment that can be a gift to that special someone. The erosion of the financial markets, however, may now constrain your range of choices.
- Social Activities - For example, golf, tennis, or bridge, can be pleasant activities for sharing time with family and friends. In and of themselves, however, these pursuits can lack staying power and purpose for many people.
What to do?
- Identify the top five things you love to do.
- Identify the top five things in which you excel.
- If the “top five” approach doesn’t reveal a direction for you, talk with friends and relatives who know you and may have heard of something you might find interesting.
- If you still are debating with yourself, look for something in which you can get engaged quickly. Try it, and see what you learn. If it doesn’t work, try a different option. It may take a few tries, but it is better than procrastinating.
- Good luck with your efforts!
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