Forgiveness . . . A Gift of Peace

Author: admin  |  Category: Relationships

Remember Rodney King? He was the unfortunate black man who ran afoul of the Los Angeles police. They irrationally beat him with night sticks and were videotaped in the process. It was a big news story at the time, and Mr. King got far more attention than he desired. But in the midst of all the media madness, he reasserted his human dignity by raising a poignant question. “Why can’t we all just get along?”

It has been nearly a couple of decades since that incident, but Mr. King’s question still remains relevant, especially during this season that is focused upon peace.

Human beings always seem to have a problem with too much harmony. Petty dictators, just like religious fundamentalists, operate under the proud delusion that their approach is the only valid one. Others consider violence a necessary means to assert or retain their sense of power. Still other lust after lands or riches that are not rightfully theirs.

As a consequence, we often don’t “just get along.”

As seniors, on a personal level, we have all lived long enough to experience the bite of betrayal. Harm inflicted by an unknown source can be disastrous. But harm inflicted by a relative, friend, or coworker can be devastating. It can continue to haunt a person years after the event.

Coping with betrayal doesn’t come naturally for any of us. But after sixty years of living, I learned that forgiveness is a special gift that you can give to yourself. I took that step with some resentment, but I did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. What shocked me, once I truly forgave, was how heavily that burden of betrayal had weighed upon me. Once I released it, I experienced a new sense of freedom that I hadn’t felt in years. It is one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received.

So, during this season of peace, I recommend the gift of forgiveness. You don’t have to go to the mall. It’s not going to make a dent your credit card bill. You don’t even have to wrap it. But I guarantee, you will treasure it. Peace on earth can start inside your own heart.

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Accident Prevention . . . The Dangers of Falling

Author: admin  |  Category: Health, Personal Safety

“The weather outside is frightful!”

One of the assurances my children gave us when they encouraged our move to the northwest was - “It rarely snows. When it does, it’s gone within a couple of hours.” They lied! This very morning we even had THUNDERSNOW!

Last night, it started snowing once again. It wasn’t the 32″ we experienced our last winter in Rhode Island, but enough for ice to form under your feet. That ice will not go away within two hours because the thermometer is projected to stay below freezing for a number of days. I have to admit, I am very wary.

I fell twice on the ice during the week we moved out of Connecticut in 2003. I learned then that a ‘frozen shoulder’ has nothing to do with the cold. I landed more softly on my Rhode Island slips. However, I managed to find black ice during my first winter in Seattle and had to have my scalp stapled. That’s why I am wary.

I have since learned that simple falls become the greatest accident exposure for senior citizens. We need activity to keep our bodily systems engaged, and the simple act of falling can result in enough damage to curtail that activity for prolonged periods. The snow may be pretty, but the ice is dangerous.

To cope with the situation, I am -

  • staying indoors as much as possible despite the fact that I can’t stand the cabin fever,
  • wearing ugly high-traction boots whenever I must go out,
  • driving only on tires with decent tread,
  • carefully selecting parking places that are somewhat drier and closer to covered walkways,
  • noticing some of my fellow seniors using ski poles while walking, and am considering adapting their style, and
  • spreading kitty litter (my latest ‘wonder product’ discovery) on the walks around our house.

Love to hear any other ideas that would forestall a visit to the ER. Other than that, the snow is beautiful to see. I love to watch the kids rolling around in it.

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Social Security . . . Guilt Money?

Author: admin  |  Category: Financial, Opinion

Is social security really guilt money? Although we seniors will receive a 5.8% cola increase in 2009 (which will partially compensate for the shortfall this year.), are these funds intended to be a retirement benefit or to compensate for the age discrimination that we face everyday?

During this holiday season, it is nice to notice the many senior citizens working at the various stores. They are invariably courteous, friendly, and helpful. They act as if they actually care. Take a good look at them. They will be gone in January.

Any employee in the US knows that finding a job becomes more difficult as you get older. Once you reach out beyond your personal network, and become just another resume in the Inbox, your odds of succeeding become considerably more difficult. There are some organizations that recognize the problem and offer help. 40Plus has been around for years, and its local chapters are dedicated to helping workers over age forty find employment.

Imagine what it is like after age sixty-five!

A personal friend of mine is an employment specialist who works specifically in the sector of senior citizens. As he reports, he can find jobs for people, but the pay scale is typically limited to $10 or $12/hour. Although some of his clients may have operated as top executives or academics and have advanced degrees and credentials, the best he can find for them is $10 to $12/hour.

Senior citizens don’t want a handout. Like any person, they simply want an opportunity and a chance to demonstrate their value. In the current economic climate, where portfolios have been reduced by forty percent or more, they also want to survive. It is a tragedy that age prejudice in our current society severely limits their ability to do that.

So it would appear we are back to our original question.

Is social security really guilt money?

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‘Tis the Season . . . to be Holiday Sensitive?

Author: admin  |  Category: Opinion, Relationships, Self Expression

Having spent most of my working life in New York City, that melting pot of humanity, I was always used to recognizing other people’s celebrations. As the days became shorter and darker, it was delightful to encounter celebratory lights and smiles. The context that framed those smiles varied with their cultural backgrounds. For some it was Christmas, for others Hanukkah, for some Kwanzaa, for still others Hari Raya. (I’m sure there are other holidays, but these were celebrated by the people with whom I worked.) As a true New Yorker, however, you realized that it was your responsibility to get the date right and share greetings and best wishes for all the various holidays, by name.

Where did all that respect for diversity go? “Happy Holidays” just doesn’t cut it for me. It ignores diversity rather than celebrates it. It lacks style. Frankly, I find it just plain lazy!

Over the years, I certainly have made mistakes, wishing people best wishes for the wrong holiday. I’ve also been on the receiving end of such “mistakes”, but I’ve never taken offense. I don’t understand how you can be offended by someone wishing you well. They are trying to share their humanity and joy of celebration. How can anyone in their right mind be offended?

Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day lack this diversity. Because they are common celebrations, they pass more easily through the social consciousness. They are celebrations of common survival, that we still have both food and time. As a consequence, they are socially safer celebrations. The diversity of cultures and beliefs are not involved. You don’t have to be so socially sensitive. They take less “work”.

Trying to force the celebrations of diverse cultures and religions into the same “safe” mold, however, ignores their realities. To me, “Happy Holidays” doesn’t say that I’m trying to be sensitive. Instead, it says that I’m either too casual or too lazy to care.

So let us rejoice in the richness of our diversity. I send you best wishes. Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Joyous Kwanzaa! Selamat Hari Raya!

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