For “those of a certain age”, loneliness has to rank near the top of the special concerns. Health probably comes first because its lack preempts so many other things. Independence probably comes next because it directly impacts our sense of self worth. All of the concerns about money are directly related to independence.
Loneliness must come next because it can become so pervasive throughout your life. It can certain take some of the zip out of your stride, and if it isn’t combated, it can quickly lead to depression.
After a move to a new location, the loss of a spouse, or the departure of long time friends, loneliness can find us and weigh us down. It stalks us throughout our day and can lure us into a swamp of self pity.
The last time most seniors encountered such bouts of loneliness was, ironically, during their teenage years. Those time of loneliness and depression were profound but very temporary. This time around, in senescence, the bouts can last much longer without the resilience of youth to cast them off.
What actions can you take?
- Force yourself to be active! Get out of bed. Get out of the house. Get going. Activity forces you into contact with others whose struggles often far exceed your own.
- For a quick fix, take a trip with a tour group.
- At mealtimes, use the TV to divert your attention away from the fact that you are alone.
- Get some regular exercise, even if it has to be limited to walking the shopping mall. Churning your blood will revive your spirits.
- Take a class at a local community college or center in something totally new.
- Join a bridge-book-sewing-hiking-cooking group.
- Volunteer at the local library, hospital, or school.
- Get a job which will force you to become engaged each day. Although the pay is modest, retailers are always looking for people to staff their stores.
Everyone has to develop their own unique action plan to combat the specter of loneliness. If you are unsure, try some things and give yourself permission to make some mistakes. The mistakes aren’t important, the effort of trying is. You may soon find yourself engaged in a novel activity and surprised by how much you love doing it.
You may also like this NY Times article by Jane Brody on The Will to Live.
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June 19th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Great advice. elaine