Still Clickin

I just received a very special gift. It wasn’t wrapped in fancy paper. There were no ribbons or bows. But it was the gift that I treasured more than any other. It was given to me naturally by my grandchildren this year just as it was last year. It was the gift of sharing a power that they possess so easily, their sense of wonder.

Wonder is such an easy sense to lose. Teenagers and young adults almost deliberately throw it away in their intense drive for “sophistication”. But young children have no such guile. The glee with which they greet a glittering tree or an unwrapped present is as boundless as it is pure.

Callused by struggles and disappointments naturally encountered through years of living, it is no longer possible for me to emulate their heightened sense of wonder, but it is possible to share it with them. We can let ourselves be swept along with their exuberant enthusiasm and let their wonder spread over us. The important thing is not to fight or ignore the wave.

Part of maintaining a joyful attitude is to be continually open to wonder - to a sparkling starry sky, to crashing ocean waves, to majestic mountains, or to the brilliant reds of holly berries. We cannot afford to let cynicism wall us off from the wonders that surround us.

Children know that secret. It was a privilege and a delight to share it with them.

I am so old that I can remember when it was possible to greet someone at this time of year and wish them a hearty “Merry Christmas”. Of course, with my Jewish friends, I would change the greeting to a “Happy Hanukkah”. While on a business trip to Kuala Lumpur, I also learned that the proper way to greet my new Muslim friends on Hari Raya was “EI-d muba-rak”.

It was a time when there was sufficient respect for each other and for the various faith-based celebrations that offense was not taken, nor intentionally given. The spirit of good will was intended, and as a consequence, it was shared.

Today, we seem to have migrated to such an extremely bland attitude that we offend no one because we stand for nothing. The faith-based meanings for the season - whether to celebrate the end of a the Ramadhan fast, the re-dedication of the Jerusalem Temple and the wonder of oil lasting eight days, or the birth of the child Jesus - is lost.

The “Happy Holidays” greetings that are used to offend no one distance us from the faith-based peace, joy, and gratitude that should be hallmarks of the season for everyone. Instead, the season has become subverted to retail shopping, compulsory gifts, and tension-filled days.

Perhaps, if we were to return to a period of recognition of, and respect for, the various religions found within the many families of mankind, we could realize more of their benefits. All we would have to do is become a bit incorrectly “PC”.

“Merry Christmas” “Happy Hanukkah” “EI-d muba-rak”

Because it is linked to our identity and self worth, independence becomes a top priority for those of “a certain age”, a.k.a., “us”. At this juncture, I can’t conceive being anything other than independent. But that quiet little voice inside knows that isn’t true. Dependency is only a matter of time. As much as we hate that thought, intellectually, we have to accept its inevitability.

Consequently, “delay” becomes the game plan. Inevitable is not tomorrow. That means that we need to remove that tiller of control over our lives from the well-meaning hands of the next generation for at least awhile. Although their intentions are properly driven by love, just as we proudly taught them (They will always make us proud!), we need to employ some diversionary tactics to delay their caring assistance.

The very best diversionary tactic we can employ is a network.

Beacon Hill Village, has become role model for neighborhood networks. Chipping in as a group to employ cheerful and efficient social work professionals, this group has created a working support network that permits them to maintain their independence well beyond reasonable boundaries. They nearly achieve the support structure of assisted living facilities while remaining within the familiar comforts of their own home.

Although such a formal network may exceed the means of many, a more casual network of friends and neighbors can achieve many of the same results, i.e. home repairs, household cleaning, rides, errands, meals, dining groups, etc. The geographic section of wikiSenior.com can be utilized explicitly for this purpose. For example, a posting for the 103rd Street Village might read, “June 3rd, my nephew is driving me to the mall at 1 PM and returning at 3:30 PM. There is room for two more people.” Although a neighborhood network does require some formal controls and coordination, a lot can be achieved with a little good will.

N. B. Click below to make a comment. If you would prefer to make an enhancement to the original article, please go to wikiSenior.com and click on edit.

Call me lazy, but I gave myself a week off for a bit of surgery. It also gave me time to reassess “attitude”, which is not a big thing, it’s Everything!

It made me remember Florence, who was in the hospital room across from my Dad. When I once heard her call out, I went across the hall to see if there was anything I could do. As I entered the room, and she recognized I wasn’t the nurse, her expression changed from distraught to welcoming. She immediately put aside her issues and inquired about my Dad. She was determined not to spoil anyone else’s day. “I learned a long time ago,” she said, “that people have enough of their own troubles. They really don’t want to be burdened with any more.”

Like Florence, every time we wake up and face a new day, we each have a choice to make. We can decide to make it a terrible day, a so-so day, or a great day. The choice is really belongs to each of us.

This can sound like a platitude, but it is largely true. Of course, there are certain days, like those when you have a kidney stone, when immediate issues can suddenly overwhelm any mindset. For most of us, however, those days are few and far between.

Yesterday, when the lack of any available parking place at the doctor’s office started making me furious, I suddenly realized how foolish my behavior had become. Hitting the mental reset button, I forced myself to decide to have a good day. The timing could not have been better. When I turned too quickly in my own drive coming home, and dented the passenger door against a cement post, I surprised myself that I was able to cope with the event calmly and rationally. Compared to EKG’s and cancer cells, dents are nothing!

What is wonderful about an upbeat attitude is that it is infectious. Seeing that glass not only half filled, but sparkling, not only lifts your own boat, but the boat of everyone else you encounter. We all recognize this truth. We have all experienced the impact. But it does take a constant determination to make it happen, every time you greet a new day.

If you interested, I found some additional tips on attitude at recoverymedicine.com.

N. B. Click below to make a comment. If you would prefer to make an enhancement to the original article, please go to wikiSenior.com and click on edit.

Have you noticed that there are more and more web sites with a font size adjustment (A A A) at the corner of the screen? As the words become progressively fuzzier, I appreciate these efforts of help.

I’ve learned, however, that there is a more powerful tool readily available. If you find it difficult to read articles on your computer screen, it is easy to change the size of the text that is displayed by your browser.

In the control bar at the very top of the screen -

1. Click on the “View” button, then
2. Click on the “Text Size” option.

The Text Size option will display choices for “Larger” or “Smaller” or for “Increase” or “Decrease”. Click to make it bigger and see how you like the results. Try it now and see how this screen changes. I find that these choices offer a broader range of change available than the “A A A” option usually provides.

Depending upon the software version on your computer, the choice you make will either be temporary, lasting only during this session, or fixed until you choose to change it again.

Like Déjà vu all over again.

One of my most favorite jobs was coaching a high school team. It was a swim team in the middle of an island named Manhattan. The team members possessed a wide disparity of talents, but they all shared one thing in common, adolescence.

I felt it was a privilege to work with these kids. They were all coping with the dramatic changes forced on them by adolescence - excessive skin oils, excessive hormones, and excessive imaginations. But once they realized that they were supposed to be miserable, they adapted well and thrashed that water with a persistence and energy that I both respected and admired.

I think about them now, because I am back into adolescence, only this time it is in reverse. It has a different name, senescence, but the essentials are still the same, i.e. a wide variety of physical and emotional change over which you have little or no control. Rather than too much skin oil, there is too little. There are more hormones in the memory than in the blood. It is still frustrating, however, “to supposed to be miserable”. Why can’t change be easier? I sound like a typical senescent.

The changes are subtle at first. Your grip isn’t as strong. Your memory isn’t as sharp. Your response isn’t as quick. Your attitude isn’t as positive.

But with these changes comes a new sense of vision. You are not as vexed by picayune rules. Forgiveness becomes a more accessible option. The “Joneses” have moved, so there is no need to keep up. That rare essence of true (selfless) love becomes a more familiar scent. The sense of daily striving is modulated by a sense of meaningful peace.

There were so many of life’s realities we had to learn during adolescence. There is so much wisdom we have to garner during senescence.

Don’t fight the ride, roll with it. Thrash that water!

N. B. Click below to make a comment. If you would prefer to make an enhancement to the original article, please go to wikiSenior.com and click on edit.

So much attention and advertising is given over to the financial aspects of retirement planning that the critical question is often ignored. That question is, “How are you going to spend your Time?”

Age 60 is a good tripwire for starting a detailed retirement plan. At that juncture, you still have some leverage and contacts in your work environment. You also have some flex time to explore options.

A solid plan answers three critical questions. Listed in priority order, these are -
1. How am I going to spend my Time?,
2. Where am I going to be spending my Time?, and lastly
3. How will I pay for choices 1 and 2?

Other than medical problems and wrinkles, the biggest gift you receive during retirement is Time. Unfortunately, few of us are prepared to receive that gift. There are abundant possibilities, and your choice is not limited to just one or two.

• Susan, a teacher, and Gerry, and HR manager, loved their neighbors and neighborhood, but they also had the itch to travel the world. Their resources, however, were limited. To prepare for retirement, she secured a part-time job at a travel agency, and he used his contacts to begin selling corporate insurance policies. They setup an efficient home office, and once retirement hit, they spent the first ten months making their business efforts work. Then, they spent a delightful month in Spain. With flexible work schedules, they now travel as the spirit moves them.
• Jeff decided he wanted to fish, and New England was the place he wanted to do it. To make that happen, he sold his home, and used the proceeds as down-payment on a lakeside cottage and two nearby college apartment houses. The rental income on the college apartments services all three mortgages, and he fits in his landlord duties whenever the fish aren’t biting.

These folks were successful, because they first figured out how and where they wanted to spend their time, and then did what they need to do in order to make that happen. They feel quite comfortable with their choices, but also continue to explore new possibilities. They are the engaged type of people that remain open to new adventures.

Following their lead, the best way to answer the three critical questions for retirement seems to be -

• If you love what you do and want to stay where you are, explore the opportunity of downsizing the job, e.g. working two or three days per week on a contract basis. The time to arrange this is while you are still very involved in the job, not one day after.
  
• Use the leverage of your current contacts to explore new activities, e.g. becoming an agent for one of your suppliers.
• Research, research, research to learn if you want to startup your own enterprise or buy into a franchise situation.

Certainly, retirement grants the opportunity to follow your passion. The questions remains, “How do you want to spend your Time?”

N. B. Click below to make a comment. If you would prefer to make an enhancement to the original article, please go to wikiSenior.com and click on edit.